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They really said that? Quotes

First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Finally by Ray
Sorry about the wait for the Quotes, kids. Still working on getting moved in: unpacking boxes, organizing stuff, masturb...
March 06, 2011
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Doing Fine? by Ray
I know I generally have to apologize for not having nearly enough Quotes, but I think I did pretty good this month. "Goo...
February 02, 2011
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Right On Time! by Ray
You might have noticed there were no FOTM Quotes last month. If you did, it's probably because you're one of those peopl...
January 01, 2011
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: No Time For Apologies by Ray
No time for excuses, kids--I got shit to do. Here are your FOTM Qu...
November 03, 2010
 
First-Of-The-month Quotes: Facial Hair by Ray
Ah, First-Of-The-Month Quotes. The easiest part of the month--all I have to do is type in all the crap I've collected. A...
October 08, 2010
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: So Late, They Thought They Were Pregnant by Ray
Yep, that's a menstruation joke as the title. Because we keep it classy around here. So yeah, I'm posting FOTM Quotes...
September 04, 2010
 
Four Amusing Quotes by Jubal Algonquin
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September 02, 2010
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Not Very Many (Again) by Ray
It should not surprise you at all that I don't have very many Quotes. I am a slacker, which means that I slack. Here's w...
August 02, 2010
 
First Of The Month Quotes: Late/Text Edition by Ray
I've been trying to figure out what to do about First Of The Month Quotes this month. The thing is, I only had four. ...
July 11, 2010
 
First Of The Month Quotes: Iphone People by Ray
At first, I thought it was my fault. But I soon realized it was not, mostly because I hate accepting blame. Instead, I b...
June 01, 2010
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Fallen Warriors by Ray
Did you notice the dramatic title of this month's FOTM Quotes? If you didn't, you should go do that right quick. Tha...
May 01, 2010
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Mystery by Ray
I have no idea how many FOTM Quotes I have, and since that's usually what I talk about in this first paragraph, I guess ...
April 02, 2010
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Unchecked by Ray
Usually when I write FOTM Quotes, I go through them all before I even start typing, just to see how many I have, what I ...
March 02, 2010
 
Texture? by Charlie Mine
I'm explaining to my best friend why I am a horrible person We are your best friends, and we are naked. In a rest...
March 02, 2010
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Kinda Weird by Ray
It was a strange month for First-Of-The-Month Quotes. When I first started writing down the bizarre things people said a...
February 01, 2010
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Another Excuse by Ray
Everything sucks at the moment. Caught a cold just in time to take it back to work with me. Can't find any of my quotes ...
January 04, 2010
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Bringin' My B-Game by Ray
There are no quotes on my calendar this month, which really caught me off guard. I'm sure there have been times that I h...
December 01, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Gathered Intel by Ray
So I was all excited about FOTM Quotes this month, because I have meticulously written down or typed all the messed up s...
November 05, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Blood Sacrifice by Ray
Here's something you might not know: Any time you have blood taped to your desk, you're going to lose the argument. Any...
October 02, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: No Apologies by Ray
This is the space I would generally use to apologize for the scarcity of First-Of-The-Month Quotes. But screw it. I'm bu...
September 01, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Meager Offering by Ray
This was one of those rare months where I actually went out and did things. You know, stepped away from my computer and ...
August 01, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Slight Delay by Ray
Wow.The 3rd. This is the latest I've been with the Quotes since they became official. So instead of some lengthy intro, ...
July 03, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Dirty Is Relative by Ray
I don't know what the hell I was doing at my desk through the month of May, but it was obviously disgusting. My calendar...
June 01, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: This Is More Like It by Ray
Remember last month when we didn't have any First Of The Month Quotes? That sucked. We don't have that problem this mont...
May 01, 2009
 
Wisdom From The Trenches by Charlie Mine
"If she were human, she'd be like, this thirty-somethin' white trash bitch, livin' in a trailer with a buncha kids, and ...
April 24, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month-Quotes by Ray
You know how some websites do a practical joke on April Fool's Day? Like they'll change the whole layout or post a messa...
April 01, 2009
 
Quote from Co-worker: by James
So, you remember my friend I told you about who was shot by that midget in a van with a bee-bee gun while he was riding ...
March 16, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Good Times by Ray
Typing out First-Of-The-Month Quotes makes me happy. It's easy, because the stuff is already written down, so I don't ha...
March 01, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: More Confusing Than Usual by Ray
So I'm looking at my calendar, where I always write down FOTM Quotes, and there's all kinds of shit here that I don't k...
February 01, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Not My Fault by Ray
You're probably getting sick and tired of me writing an intro each month talking about how I don't have many FOTM Quotes...
January 02, 2009
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Short As A Penis Popsicle by Ray
I was told to inform you that my friends haven't stopped being as funny, it's just that I was always either really busy...
December 01, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Not Many This Time, Either by Ray
Instead of an intro this month, I'm just pasting in segments of an email convers...
November 01, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Not Many by Ray
I don't have any clever sort of introduction for the Quotes this month, and honestly, I barely even have any quotes. Bu...
October 01, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month-Quotes: Disturbing by Ray
I was a little worried about the First Of The Month Quotes this month. It was like mid-August, and I only had one or tw...
September 01, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Sharing by Ray
The first of the month is a time for sharing. Sharing our experiences and our love all the nasty, messed up shit...
August 01, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Let's Get It On! by Ray
The worst part of the First-Of-The-Month Quotes is writing an introduction for them. Because itís really unimportant, a...
July 01, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Here Ya Go by Ray
I canít think of a clever way to introduce the FOTM quotes, so Iím just going to give them to you:
ďI donít wa...
June 01, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Brought To You On The First by Ray
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May 01, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Professionally Creepy by Ray
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April 02, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Painful Omissions by Ray
The worst thing about this monthís First-Of-The-Month quotes is that Iíve had to omit some of them. There were several...
March 01, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Still No Calendar by Ray
I still havenít gotten a new desk calendar. I tore off the December page at the first of January, fully expecting to g...
February 01, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Time For A New Calendar by Ray
I didnít realize until just now that I have to get a new desk calendar. In years past, this was something I did when I...
January 01, 2008
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Without Further Ado by Ray
The First-Of-The-Month Quotes! ďIf you donít like watching two teenage girls mugging down at nine in the mo...
December 01, 2007
 
First-Of-The-Month-Quotes: Extra Reading by Ray
After you read through this month's quotes, you might realize something not very funny. That would be my list of thing...
November 01, 2007
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Feelin' Good (Or Bad) by Ray
Letís face it: you donít click on the First-Of-The-Month Quotes to read my introductions. You click on them to read a...
October 01, 2007
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Ever So Many by Ray
I donít know whatís up with First-Of-The-Month Quotes. I really donít. I used to consider myself lucky if I ended up ...
September 01, 2007
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Zen Intro by Ray
I donít really have much to say about this monthís First-Of-The-Month Quotes. Some are dark, some are funny, some are ...
August 01, 2007
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: From Away by Ray
Because Iím on vacation from June 30th until July something or other, Iím actually typing these First-Of-The-Month Quot...
July 01, 2007
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: A Year Remembered by Ray
This month marks the one year anniversary of First-Of-The-Month Quotes. Can you believe it? A year of scribbling down...
June 02, 2007
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Full Schedule by Ray
Iíll be honest with you: Usually, the biggest thing going on on my desk calendar is a food stain of some kind. Iím no...
May 01, 2007
 
First-Of-The-Month-Quotes: Dirty Desk Calendar by Ray
Iím glad itís a new month. Not because I have anything against last month (although I do, since those bastards moved u...
April 02, 2007
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: #'s by Ray
Iím on a budget. For some reason, my princess has decided to turn the world into numbers. My hate for numbers is just...
March 02, 2007
 
First-Of-The Month Quotes For February by Ray
The funny thing about First-Of-The-Month quotes is that theyíre not so hard to find, but theyíre hard as hell to rememb...
February 02, 2007
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes...Quality, Not Quantity by Ray
I got a new desk calendar, what with it being a new year and all, and I gotta tell youóitís a little strange. I had th...
January 02, 2007
 
First Of The Month Quotes: Found And Lost by Ray
I had a pretty busy November, and I did a lot of talking to a lot of different people. Which means that I heard all ki...
December 01, 2006
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Spilled Meat by Ray
I spilled coffee and hamburger meat all over my desk calendar around October fourteenth, so my quotes of the month are ...
November 01, 2006
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Time Passes by Ray
I just realized the first-of-the-month quotes have been around since June. Actually, I posted the first ones in
October 01, 2006
 
This really sucked... by Dave Riley
This really sucked so you didn't want to read it anyway. Trust me on this. óDave Riley...
September 20, 2006
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Origins by Ray
Thereís a story behind the first-of-the-month quotes, but itís not a very interesting one. But as Iím not a very inter...
September 02, 2006
 
First-of-the-Month QuotesóSlim Pickings by Ray
The problem with this monthís first-of-the-month quotes is that I heard most of them in person. Which means that I for...
August 01, 2006
 
More First-Of-The-Month Quotes by Ray
I didnít do much talking this month, at least not any recreational talking, so my first-of-the-month quotes are pretty ...
July 01, 2006
 
First-Of-The-Month Quotes by Ray
So the manís got me beat down pretty good tonight, boys and girls. I wonít be much in the way of entertainment, is wha...
June 02, 2006