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Sucker-punched By The Ghost Of The Past by Ray Printer Friendly

Holy shit. I just started fooling around with the “search” function in Yahoo mail, and it was like getting punched in the nuts by ghosts. Probably like ten ghosts.

I don’t erase much of the email I get from friends and family, but I don’t go back and read it, either.

Just now, I was looking for a specific email sent to me because of…well, just because. I typed in the word “ring,”—you figure it out.

I find the email I’m looking for in an instant, along with several others that don’t really seem to fit the bill. So I start looking through them, and…damn.

It’s like being slapped in the face with every relationship I’ve had in the past five years. Friendships and lovers, some successful and some failed.

Emails from September 11th: the confusion, the fear, the pain, all of it new and raw, even though it was five years ago.

I type in various other search words; I read about how people are worried about me, how they’re relieved, how they’re worried again. I read about heartbreak—both mine and that of others—and I read about what I had for lunch four years ago today (noodles…and just for the record, my mom had frozen waffles).

We’ve entered a new age, Strangelanders, and I think we did it a while back. I’m not sure if any of us realized it—I sure as hell didn’t. It’s not the same as a journal, because journals are one person’s words. With stored email, you get entire conversations, forwarded, replied to, blind carbon copied.

You don’t just have to witness your own immaturity and stupidity, but that of others, as well.

Distressing, unsettling, and intriguing.


Comments:
Entered By Rik From Unknown
2006-10-25 13:51:11

Why would you eat noodles for lunch when you could have a grilled cheese or tacos?


Entered By Ray From Austin
2006-10-25 20:22:09

According to my email, I COULDN'T have grilled cheese or tacos. Noodles were all that were left in my house. Over the years, I've eaten a lot of noodles, though, and judging by my old email, I usually feel the urge to tell everyone about it.


Entered By Rik From Unknown
2006-10-25 20:44:44

You know, I didn't want to say anything after all these years, but I do think the noodle notifications have surpassed any understandable limit. You should really buy more cheese, bread, and butter.


Entered By Ray From Austin
2006-10-25 21:11:52

Why must you hate the noodles? Do you not understand their glory?


Entered By Dave Riley From Unknown
2006-10-25 22:03:29

Noodles are food of the gods.


Entered By Ray From Austin
2006-10-26 00:23:49

And I've been eating them for years...which means that you should probably all start worshiping me right now.


Entered By Rik From Unknown
2006-10-26 13:27:47

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing but love for the noodles. I was talking about the number of times you have told people about your noodle eating. Strange, I always thought the Kit-Kat/Mountain Dew combo was the food of gods.


Entered By Ray From Austin
2006-10-26 16:49:40

The Kit-Kat/Mountain Dew thing is actually more for saints, I think. Oh, and maybe the pope.


Entered By Jesse From Waukesha
2006-10-29 02:22:07

Coincidentally, I had noodles for dinner this evening. From Noodles & Co. The food preparation company of the gods. P.S. The pope's moved on to code red.


Entered By Ray From Austin
2006-10-30 04:06:52

What was I thinking? You can totally tell that the pope drinks code red by the way he skateboards to the X-treme.



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