I just realized the first-of-the-month quotes have been around since June. Actually, I posted the first ones in May, but they weren’t posted at the first of the month, and they weren’t named first-of-the-month quotes, so I guess they don’t really count.
Five months, now. When Trey first staggered into my bedroom a few years ago with the idea of The Strangelands, we weren’t even sure the site would last five months. And when I started typing the second set of quotes back in July, I figured it would be the last time I did it.
And it really didn’t seem like five months ago. The time, it do fly.
So, without further ado, as they say, the first-of-the-month quotes:
“Darn it! I just said ‘nay,’ didn’t I?”
“Oh, yeah.”
.
“She has problems with her hemispheres, for some reason.”
.
“I read poetry for a clock.”
.
“She tried to be a victim, it just didn’t work out for her.”
.
“I’m not brave, I’m just stupid and lucky.”
.
“Everything smells like meat.”
.
“I just can’t wait until we start throwing feces.”
.
“That’s the thing about kids—you have enough of ‘em, some of ‘em aren’t gonna come out.”
.
“I think she hates men.”
“Well, that’s…appropriate.”
.
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard—everyone has business in a strip club.”
.
“She didn’t know that in two and a half minutes, all the Tupperware in the world wouldn’t save her.”
.
“Judaism is just a phase. Isn’t that what Jesus said?”
.
“What’d you call it—a cock scooter?”
“It’s a crotch rocket.”
“Sure it is.”
.
“She’s, ‘You don’t like it?’ No, I don’t like it—your finger’s up my ass! ‘Oh, I thought you would like it.’ No—I’m not a fucking puppet! Please take your finger out my ass!”
.
“It took a long time to get it right, but when it was right…it was very fucking right.”
.
“You had him dig his own grave?”
“Well, at the time, we didn’t know it was gonna be a grave…but…yeah.”
.
“It’s like drinking moonlight milk.”
“What?”
“What’d you say?”
“Nothing about moonlight milk.”
“Oh. Me either, then.”
.
“The thing about you is, you want to be a superhero. But why?”
.
“You eat while you shit, you ain’t never gonna grow.”
.
“We are monkey pirate!” [this one was not from me, by the way—that’s why I felt that it had to be added—and it's no typo]
.
“You’re like the evil guy from Rainbow Bright.”
.
“I just want to say one thing that cuts through all of it: one truth of life.”
.
“I used to want to change the world, but then I got scared about what I would change it into.”
.
“Yeah, I’m sure that’d go over real well: ‘Hot buttered asses. Got’cher hot, buttered asses for sale here—get ‘em while they’re hot!’”
“That sounds perfect to me.”
There you go. I actually have something like two pages of quotes about Star Trek, but I have to get clearance before I post them—they’re a bit…raw.
Anyway, there’re your quotes, kids. As always, feel free to post your own in the comments or email me. Or, you know, just talk to me.
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