Instead of going out and buying a bottle of whiskey tonight, I bought exercise equipment. The Gazelle.
You would not believe how gay I feel on this thing. I donít mean that in a derogatory way, either. I mean, I get up on this thing, I start pumping my arms and legs, and I think to myself, ďThis seems like an activity that gay men would be into.Ē I donít know why I think that, as Iíve never talked to gay men about the Gazelle.
Anyways, thatís not the point. The point is, I got home, got it set up, and went to it. I only went for thirty minutes, but I was workiní itÖplus, Iím in terrible shape, so it was a really long thirty minutes.
Now Iím tired, Iím all dizzy, and I feel like Iím about to puke. So itís like I did buy the bottle of whiskey, after all. Except for without the fun.
I tried to find a video of someone working out on the Gazelle, just so you can see how it might seem really appealing to a gay man, but alls I could find were drunk high school kids and goofballs pretending to be Tony Little.
So apparently the Gazelle has a really large demographic.
Iím going to pass out now.