I slept like a baby last night. The tent has a little flap that you can unzip, and you can see the stars through this mesh screen. Slick stuff.
After all the hell of getting the project pushed through, after all the tension and the preparation, itís nice to finally be out here. I wonder if this is how sailors felt back long ago, when they set sail. Excitement, fear, but ready for adventure, and glad to be rid of land. Of course, I would be like an inverse sailor, as Iím surrounded by a sea without water. Itís actually pretty easy to imagine this place as an ocean.
Drifting along in my little tent-raft, occasionally venturing out to explore the surrounding waters, but never too far from my boat. Ah, but thatís just me being goofy.
Itís nice to finally be out here, though.
Itís way too soon for me to be missing human contact, with the exceptions of my family, and Iíve been missing them for months now, so itís not like thatís a new feeling. Right now, it all just feels like a great adventure. And I donít want to get too cheesy here, but itís like my soul feels lighter, you know? I donít have to worry about what Iím going to do with my life, I donít have to worry about what Iím going to say to whom, I donít have to worry about if my clothes match or if I have something sticking out of my nose.
Actually, that last oneís a lieóI worry constantly if I have something sticking out of my nose. Well what do you expect, man? Thereís cameras everywhere, and I think we all realized how ridiculous that chick in The Blair With Project was. Sure, you want an element of reality, but none of us need that much, right?
Uhg. I just realized that if I die on camera, Iíll shit myself. Man, I hope they edit that. To the guys editing this: please take that part out if I die, okay? Also, you know whatís a problem I didnít think of beforehand? Masturbation.
I mean, thatís the kind of thing that gets onto the internet no matter how exclusive the material is, you know? I donít care that the studio swears no one sees this until my three months is upóyou start beating off on camera, that shitís on the internet within the hour.
Which is really too bad, because it looks like Iíll have a lot of free time on my hands (pun totally intended).
Iím wondering right now what else I forgot to think about when I was preparing for this deal. I mean, you try to think of every angleósnake-bite kit, antibiotic cream, aspirin, food, toothpasteóbut Iím pretty sure that Iím missing something. I hope that it doesnít turn out to be vitally important, and I hope that I donít discover that Iím missing it at a vitally important time.
I planned on using all this time to figure my life out; to do a lot of serious thinking. Which is all fine and good, and thatís still my planÖbut I could have at least brought a Gameboy or something, you know?
But anyway, the first night was a success, and I guess thatís how I should measure my life nowóby the day.
Iíll be honest, thoughóI got a little creeped out as the sun started sinking down into the horizon. I realized that I wouldnít be seeing any streetlights or hearing any traffic for the first time in something like twenty years. My dad took my brother and I camping a few times when we were kids, but it wasnít really our thing, and since then, Iíve been in touch with civilization pretty much constantly.
Itís weird to think about, you know? That not only years, but actual decades can pass without being away from civilization. And there are people that live in the cities that will never know what itís like to see the night when itís not all cluttered up by neon signs and streetlights. I donít know how I feel about that, but Iím leaning towards being a little sad about it.
Donít get me wrongólast night, when I heard something roaming around my camp, I would have been extremely excited to see a few cars or maybe hear the sound of some pimped-out SUV blaring rap music.
Thatís one thing I really miss already, is music. I thought about bringing a little radio with me, but I felt like that would be defeating the purpose of this entire thing, so I opted to leave it at home. I also left behind a little flashlight that you could crank up and use, so you didnít need batteries. Iím regretting leaving both of those right about now, but Iím sure itíll be okay, right?
Famous last words.
No, but honestly, the noises of whatever animal was out there kind of creeped me out, but I just curled up in my sleeping bag and tried to ignore it, and eventually whatever it was got bored and left.
You know how I told you about how the tent was like, ultra-fancy? I was reading the little pamphlet that came with it, and it said that itís got steel fibers sewn into it to actually resist animal attacks.
Iím pretty sure that features like that are just thrown in to appease the city folk that donít know shit about camping, and to jack up the price, but last night, I was sure glad about it. I guess if I was truly going balls-to-the-wall with this thing, I would sleep out on the ground and truly tough it out, but Iím not ready for that, just yet.
Besides, coyotes and mountain lions and shit aside, thereís too many creepy crawlies out here that like to sneak into bed with you. Scorpions, snakes, spiders, whatever. No thanks, man.
You might notice (if this part is included in the movie), that I am now sitting in the little section of my tent where they have the camera set up. Itís about the size of a bathroom stall, and thereís a little stool you can sit on and you turn on the camera and start talking.
Iíve decided this will be like a video journal. Iíll be constantly recorded while Iím out here, but this camera will be the one that I use when I specifically want to say something. If nothing else, it might make the jobs of the poor saps editing this stuff a little easier.
Incidentally, has it occurred to you to wonder how all these cameras are powered? Because it just occurred to me this morning, now that thereís no one to ask. It seems like it would be one of those questions you would ask right away, but I never even thought about it until I was wandering around with my hula-cam on, looking for driftwood to burn later.
I tend to obsess about things, so I hope this isnít the thing that drives me nuts out here. Wouldnít that be about right? I get out here to clear out my mind, to become one with the universe and all that shit, and the second day in, I fixate on how the cameras work and drive myself insane by the end of the week.