Thereís something Iíve been meaning to talk to you all about. The only reason I've waited this long is because I didít know enough about the issue to make any valid points about it.
Also, I generally try to avoid the issues of the world, choosing instead to hide in my dark little room, whistle The Smurfs theme song, and drink until my mind is freed from all coherent thought.
But thereís this issue of net neutrality thatís come up, and it needs to be dealt with. Iím almost positive that you know more than I do about it, but if you donít, hereís a place you can go to read up about it. Or here. I donít claim to know if this is a reliable source, by the way.
They wrote some things, I read them, and the things I read didnít make me happy. So now Iím writing some things. Apparently, youíre reading those things. The point of net neutrality, as I understand it, is to keep things like that happening.
Big companies are trying to buy up the internet, to put it in drunken laymenís terms. Then they get to decide what we have access to, a decision they make based on who pays them the most.
And thatís just messed up.
This is boiling it down, of course, and to tell you the truth, I might be mistaken about the whole thing. I have only just started reading up on this stuff, because although I had heard mention of it before, I donít really attach any real importance to anything until I see an internet clip of The Daily Show discussing it.
I have worked for big corporations before, and in case you havenít, let me just tell you something: theyíre evil. Evil in a way that would make Satan step back and go, ďDude, thatís like, totally messed up.Ē These are not the people you want controlling your access to information.
The internet is one of the truest forms of free speech. I mean, even the people you would rather not hear from are there, blabbering about NASCAR and gaming systems and how fags are stupid. You jump on that world wide web, you should be prepared for a whole bunch of ignorant bullshit. But itís freedom, you know?
And thatís really important. A friend of mine once asked me what I would do when I decided to take a stand.
She was pissed off at the time because I told her that I didnít care one way or the other about trees in a certain area being cut down. She asked me what I did care about, and I told her that, politically, pretty much nothiní at all.
ďYou have to care about these things,Ē she told me. ďYou have to stand for something.Ē
ďMaybe I will, someday,Ē I told her.
ďAnd then what will you do?Ē
ďI donít know,Ē I said, because I really wasnít sure. Now I know, I guess. Iíll bitch on an odd little website that nobody reads, Iíll sign all kinds of weird internet petitions, write all kinds of letters, and Iíll make sure that I vote against any stupid asshole politician that thinks net neutrality is a bad thing.
Anyways, thatís that. Sorry I wasnít more persuasiveóIím not good at this real-world bullshit.
But this really is a big issue. Itís not one of those, ďOh, Iíll wait for this to work itself out,Ē things. If it was, I would know, and I would be writing about ninja robot monkeys in space right now. And you know how much I love ninja robot monkeys.
See how important this is?