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My Part for the Cause by Jesse Printer Friendly

Hate Week! Baby, this is my time to shine! I, for one, believe there's not enough hate in the world. Well really it's just that people refuse to recognize it as hate and try to play it off as something else or otherwise conceal it, and I just hate that. And them. And their mothers... for raising such deluded, self-righteous little hate-bags and restricting the free and natural flow of hate in the world, like huge fleshy fake-smiling wads of mucus and hair stuck in the pipes where human stress is supposed to drain. Gah! I mean why... Why you gotta be hatin' on Hate like that?

I'm not real keen on the passage of time right now, either. Especially as it relates to the necessity for sleep, at which I am currently at odds. I spent the evening tonight at my brother's house, fully entrenched in an unnamable, yet enjoyable, brand of nerdiness from which I always return full of creative thought... but, due to the passage of time, I often find myself torn between detailing and documenting these ideas and this egregious sense of responsibility to obtain some level of rest that I might function properly the next day. I hate that. You'll notice I'm here tonight, though, and the reason is this... That I figure what's the different between 3 hours of sleep and 4? Not too damn much really when it comes to how I'm going to feel waking up tomorrow.

Here's somethin' else. Loud talkers. I'd strangle you, if I had even an inkling of belief in you to comprehend my motive... But you won't - because you don't even recognize the disparity between your voice and mine, even in confined spaces. Window panes rattle as you speak and I grit my teeth trying my best to will my ears not to bleed. What the fuck is wrong with you?? I'm right fuckin here!! Calm the fuck down. Isn't it bad enough that what you're saying probably isn't even worth listening to in the first place? Time for your valium suppository, you immeasurable prick.

Other things I hate: Language barriers in the drive-thru, slower traffic that doesn't keep right, widespread abandonment of traffic rule application to pedestrians on sidewalks, anything 'politically correct', minority rule in my democracy, baseball's continued status as America's sport, Red delicious apples, humidity, Vienna sausages, and the mere existence of the word "synergistical".


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