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80's Music Is Bad For the Brain by Ray Printer Friendly

Well, itís Thursday night, and you know what that means, donít you? No you donít, little liar. You donít know what it means at all. Neither do I. Of course, I didnít lie about it, did I? No. Because I donít have to lie to be popular and make friends. Oh, wait, yeah I do. So weíre all liars around here. Good to know. I feel like we can all relax a bit now. One thing I do know is that my princess is out for the evening, furthering her education and Iím left here all alone, except for this bottle of Jim Beam.

Believe it or not, I havenít even touched the stuff yet. Iíve discovered that since I stopped smoking, I tend to put off that first shot until much later in the evening. I donít know, man. It tastes bad, you know? I persevere, though.

Anyways, so Iíve just been hanging out, listening to a bunch of old music (1980ís and earlier), mostly just wrecking my brain with that. ďCenterfold,Ē though, man. How great is that song? Itís got it all: whistling, words about pornography, I think there might be some drums or something in the background. Everything!

I am currently listening to ďMirror in the BathroomĒ by The English Beat. It is also a song from that horrible time, but I only remember it from that movie Grosse Point Blank, where John Cusak stabs that guy in the throat with a pen. Theyíre wrestling around in the hall, and John Cusak lifts the pen all dramatically and pops the cap off, and then JAB! What more do you need to make a song superb, other than John Cusak doing something violent to the beat? I honestly donít know.

I might be biased, though, because I tend to think that John Cusak is one of the greatest men in the world. I donít know why, really. I remember once I was on a family vacation and I couldnít sleep, so I turned on the TV in the hotel room, and caught that movie The Grifters. Itís a great movie, and Iíve never been the same. The next day, I spent the day at whatever amusement park we were visiting screwing people out of their money. Best vacation ever.

For years, I would only refer to others as ďmarks.Ē Still havenít gotten over it all the way, if you want to know the truth.

Anyways, so John Cusak is freakiní awesome, I think weíve established that. Moving on.

Sheesh, I doní know. I guess thatís all I wanted to tell you.


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