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Real, Shmeal by Ray Printer Friendly

Am I for real? Are you? Thinking about questions like these lead to disaster, in my opinion and experience. Thereís really no right answer, as far as Iím concerned.

Iím real in my world, in this little spot in the universe where I wake up, shower, and go to work. Seems real enough to me, but what do I know? Iíve never been one to trust my perception of reality, because it always seems to clash with everyone elseís. And maybe youíre just a piece of the fantasy that I believe is reality. Which means youíre worse off than me. Iím not vouching for anything, is what Iím saying.

Who cares, anyways?

Iím sure Iím making a bigger deal out of this than it really is, but isnít reality a bit overrated? For all I know, weíre all just part of The Matrix, and how lame is that, that our sequels will suck so bad?

What I think, though, is that Iím a conglomeration of all that is cool and bad-ass, sent back in time from the future, in order to make this world a better place in which to live. Just consider me a gift from an era that you will never live to understand, like if a robot Santa Claus with all sorts of knives and soda dispensers built into his hands dropped out of nowhere and goes, ďHere ya go.Ē And he hands you access to this magical website called The Strangelands. Then he turns on his jet-pack time machine and flies off to do something else cool, like give fire to the cavemen so they can finally light their cigarettes.

Weíre all missing a beat, man, but that beat is hidden so well that you really have to get out of the habit of listening to the same drummer to hear it. Once you do that, you can either watch your life spin out of control in some burning downward spiral, or you can reign it in, take control, and be whatever the hell you want to be, without worrying about anything. Youíll be immune to the way of acceptance, youíll be your own person, oróif you donít want to be a personóanything else you want to be.

Limits are figments, like those things of our imaginations, or those things that make really good newtons. Ignore it all, be yourself, be a Strangelander.

Am I real? Are you? Not if weíre doing it right, man.


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