April first, man. The highlight of my day is going to be starting a new issue of The Strangelands. The low point will be every moron who thinks itís funny to try and trick me. Iím not very good at practical jokes, but Iíll give it a try:
This month, Iíll only be writing about happy things like sunshine and fun and flowers and stuff. Because Iím a joy-filled thing that likes to spread feelings of love and happiness wherever I go. I admire mankind and want to demonstrate that admiration in a very loving way to every living being.
Yeah, so there you have it. If you believed me, youíre an April Fool. Good one, huh?
To tell you the truth, Iím not a big fan of April Foolís Day. To tell you the truth, itís my least favorite stupid holiday(?) with the exception of Valentineís day. Today is the day where people run around doing all kinds of stupid crap to make you feel like a jerk. Last year, one of my managers took the janitor aside and told him that he was fired. He said that a woman had complained that the janitor had been outside the bathroom, doing obscene things, and peeking in through the door. The janitor was outraged, of course, because he was actually a pretty good guy. He blew up, man, talking about how that was a bunch of bullshit, he was going to take this to court, all kinds of stuff like that. He told me later, ďMan, Iím glad they stopped me when I did, because I was about to start saying some things about them that they would have had to fire me for, even if it did all start out as a joke.Ē He also told me about how the entire time, he was trying to picture going home and telling his wife he had been fired for masturbating outside the womenís bathroom. The tears, the anger, the disgrace, that kind of thing. See, but it was all in good funÖso it was funny, right?
Anyways, enough about that. Iím glad youíve all lost your way and wandered back to The Strangelands for another month.