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I Was Gonna Say Something by Ray Printer Friendly

Thought I'd be keeping my never-ending promise to try to write more, but things came up, and suddenly I was too busy to write, once more.

I feel like that's all being a grown-up is: being busy all the time.

I bought my first planner when I was about 10 years old. I found it at Walmart, and despite my dad telling me I wouldn't be happy with it, I bought it. I was so excited to flip through the pages: all the blank paper, ready to be filled with important information.

And then my excitement melted into disappointment. Not because I would have rather had a toy, like my old man had predicted, but because I didn't have many events to put in the pages of my book. I filled out the name and address section, and wrote down the few birthdays that I needed to remember, but that was about it. I wished so hard to have pages packed with writing, my days planned by the hour, contacts all accounted for.

I want to slap that kid.

Young enough that he could actually remember things, and having all the spare time in the world. I didn't appreciate it at the time.

My planner isn't exactly packed, currently, but it does contain a lot of what runs my life. Dates we have to go places, dates we have to make sure to be here, stuff we need to buy, people we need to call. It is my memory.

My brain has gotten rather lazy about remembering stuff, as of late.

I fought it, but I guess that's just how it's gonna be. So I write things down. Like...everything. If I have a conversation with someone that lasts more than five minutes, there's about a 99% chance that I will be pulling out my planner or my "idea book." I put it in quotes because it isn't really used for ideas. It's used for grocery lists, to-do pages, and literally anything I need to do that is more than 10 minutes away.

Don't judge my brain, though--that thing has been working overtime, trying to keep a toddler-aged human alive. I'm too old to both match wits with a toddler and try to be a functioning member of society.

Anyway, I can't remember what I was going to write about. I'm sure it was going to be fantastic.


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