Home Login Contact
Sections

Galleries

Authors

Issues
First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Finally by Ray Printer Friendly

Sorry about the wait for the Quotes, kids. Still working on getting moved in: unpacking boxes, organizing stuff, masturbating in the front yard on the hour, every hour, just to show the neighbors who's in charge around here. You know--the regular move-in stuff.

I wanted to mention that the first one wasn't made up by the person who said it--she was adamant that I told you that she didn't make it up. She told me who said it, but I forgot. If you're curious, you can Google it or something.

Anyway, here you go:

_______________


"True friends are like stars--it doesn't matter how long it's been since you've seen them, they're still just as beautiful."

.

"Pizza always!"

.

"You kept saying you were changing your name to Gloria Powers, taking your cats to Ohio, and writing about how faith cures all."

.

"He's not really an alcoholic--he hates alcohol. But he loves being drunk. He's a drunkaholic."

.

"Excuse my duck-fuckin' language."

.

"Yeah, nothing's classier than superhero penis costumes and syphilis."

.

"You need to get new clothes. This is a compliment, okay? You look awful. You used to look like a taut sausage stuffed into ugly intestinal casings; now you look like...you look like a Capri-Sun that someone already drank."

.

"Little Nick Cannons running around? Fuck that!"

.

"There's a shark in that tree."

.

"What's with your beard? It looks like someone threw up on your face."

.

"Violence is good for the soul."

.

"I'm like Noah--I pee for 40 days and 40 nights."

.

"Now I got the two conversations mixed up, and am pondering father-daughter lesbians with small hands."

.

"We're all dying and I have four balls."

.

"I farted...and this thing smelled like the death of America."

.

"He had twenty hotdog makers."

.

"I know where you can get an inflatable sheep for $4. It's best for our friendship if you don't ask why I know that."


Comments:
Entered By Diane From NH
2011-03-31 00:31:40

I add: "I'm DONE talking to you!". "Okay, what were those numbers again?"



Add Comment:
Name: Location: