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First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Doing Fine? by Ray Printer Friendly

I know I generally have to apologize for not having nearly enough Quotes, but I think I did pretty good this month. "Good" being a relative term, of course, because when you're hanging out with people who say this kind of messed up crap, you're probably in some level of trouble.

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"Every STD has a story behind it."

.

"I'm goin' out shirtless in the cold, a can of whip cream in each pocket, and a cigarette in my hand."

.

"My sister got goats."

"Oh, man!"

"For 4-H."

"I sure hope so."

.

"She made me ejaculate my soul, I swear."

.

"Sorry--had to unplug my extension cord from my pube clippers."

.

"It's kinda weird you're gonna have a dick growing in you."

.

"She's trying to talk to me while I'm whippin'! 'Did you put water in the penguin?' 'No, I did not put any water in the penguin!'"

.

"What did you buy?"

"I bought a blow-up monkey and a watergun, what the fuck else would I have bought?"

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"Why is it we don't make porn movies, again?"

"My wife won't do dp. What's your excuse?"

"My wife won't even do single p."

.

"I worry about inhaling whip cream into my lungs."

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"I'm gonna choke on my nipple."

.

"I gotta go to an old folks home."

"Well, enjoy the smell of Egg Beaters and...death."

.

"I heard a story about a guy having sex with his mom and I thought of you."

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"There's a hole in the middle of your butt."

.

"Do you feel bad because you feel like you're a dirt bag or because you are a dirtbag?"

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"There was a label maker. I made one that said, 'penis motor.'"

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"Regardless of species, monkeys seem to spend a lot of time scratching their assholes."


Comments:
Entered By Tracie From Unknown
2011-04-02 06:32:21

"It's kinda weird you're gonna have a dick growing in you."~~~OMG laughing hard!



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