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First Of The Month Quotes: Iphone People by Ray Printer Friendly

At first, I thought it was my fault. But I soon realized it was not, mostly because I hate accepting blame. Instead, I blame iphone people.

Here's the thing: when I originally started writing down quotes for FOTM Quotes, it was because I was sitting at my desk, talking to various people on the phone, or sitting in class, with a large notebook in front of me. It was easy to write down the quotes and then gather them at the first of the month.

But then I started actually leaving my apartment, and while there were many more opportunities to hear quote-worthy phrases, the problem was, I couldn't ever remember them. So I started typing the quotes into my phone, and for a while, life was good.

Then, I got an iphone. In case you're wondering, I still have the capability to type a quote into my phone. But there are two problems: 1) Using the iphone to type anything more complicated than a phone number totally sucks balls. The interface blows, and the auto-correct is like getting a meth-head to dictate for you.

The second problem is that people with iphones are rude assholes. Right in the middle of a conversation, they'll pull out their phones and start playing a game, or checking their email, or texting someone. This kind of thing does happen with other phones, I admit, but it's the prevalent behavior of people with iphones.

I am not one of those people. I got my iphone because my princess wanted us both to have them, and I have bitched about it ever since. I find the interface constricting and the communication ability is a joke. It's a neat toy, but a shitty phone. As soon as my contract ends, I will be moving on to a mobile device that doesn't want to be my freaking babysitter.

But I'm getting off track. I don't generally yank my phone out and start screwing with it when I'm in the middle of interacting with other people. But when I hear a quote, I like to be able to type it. Unfortunately, because of all the other d-holes who constantly use their iphones in a rude-ass way, every time I pull out my phone, I feel asshole-y and extra rude.

Long way of saying there aren't many Quotes. Blame the iphone jerkoffs who can't integrate manners with technology.

_______________


"Being a chick must be like being some bizarre version of Sherlock Holmes. You have all of that perception, but none of the logic."

.

"I'm better than WalMart milk."

.

"If you can't laugh at abortion, what can you laugh at?"

.

"I worry about you. I try to worry about you. It's hard if there's a bird outside, pulling a ribbon out of a bush, because you know...my attention span."

.

"You want a banana?"

"Nah, I'm about to throw up all over the place, anyway, it'd just be wasting it."

.

"My memory is not HD. I guess it's just, like, analog. I finally understand why people thought Harrison Ford was attractive."

.

"He doesn't at first strike you as a ball attacker."

.

"Maybe you need ibuprofen--I hear it's wonderful."

"No, because I don't have a headache, you're just pissing me off."

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"I'll stick to what I know--drinking and grocery carts."

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"In my mind, I am free."



Posted under First-Of-The-Month_Quotes on 6/01/10


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