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First-Of-The-Month Quotes: Unchecked by Ray Printer Friendly

Usually when I write FOTM Quotes, I go through them all before I even start typing, just to see how many I have, what I need to apologize for, and see how they'd best be organized. I'm not going to do that tonight--I need to get to bed, and the quickest way to accomplish that is to dump out these Quotes and back slowly away from the computer.

_______________


"Do you have attention deficit disorder?"

"No, I just don't like books."

.

"Even at your worst, you're better than most people."

.

Stop noticing me, dammit!"

.

"We're all fuckin' phonies, man. None of us are doing what we want to do, but we're doing what have to do. Holden Caulfield wouldn't roll with that, and neither would Tyler Durden, but sometimes, that's the way it is."

.

"Sometimes it makes me feel retarded to work here."

"It's not nice to say retarded."

"It's not nice to feel retarded."

.

"I have to say, I get a certain swelling of pride when a person like you tells me I'm a horrible person."

.

"You like to jack off, don't you, old man?"

.

"I don't want to hear about your mom's super labia."

"Yes you do."

"I barely want to hear about your mom's super labia."

.

"Life is one big Goldberg Machine--we set it in motion the day we're born, and then we just wait to see if it works out."

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"I'm bleeding, and I just want outta here."

"That's what she said."

"...Dude. There are times when that joke's only slightly behind the curve. There are other times where I feel I should call the cops on you."

"That's what she said."

"You have so many heads in your freezer."

.

"I'm not your little fighter monkey!"

.

"I could be wrong...about everything."

.

"Give me a reason not to go for a chick with a daddy complex who's willing to do ass-to-mouth with a fat guy, that's all I want."

.

"NO! No more eating, pooping, or playing! Until this place is clean, nothing fun!"

.

"I'm gonna get that dog, and name him Cheesy Five Layer Burrito. Girls will come up and go, 'Oh, he's so cute, what's his name?" And I'll tell them, and they'll go, 'This guy's nuts or he really likes burritos, or he's really cool.' And then I'll go, 'Come on, Cheesy Five, we got things to do.' And they'll know I'm really cool."

.

"No one has an understanding with The Jovi.".

.

"Obviously, whoever has the quickest piece of toast wins."

.

"I understand nothing you're saying! It's like cats speaking to me."

.

"We die. We all die. We have to do what we can before then."


Comments:
Entered By Diane From NH
2010-03-17 22:19:51

I'm always a wee bit shocked when I come back to visit the Strangelands after a while.... shocked and amused and entertained. Really so way better than the blathering on facebook. And yeah, I know - I'm a facebook blatherer. But you're way more interesting.


Entered By Ray From Austin
2010-03-19 03:18:13

Man, I hate Facebook so much.


Entered By Diane From NH
2010-03-27 20:56:04

Yeah. It's like heroin for suburban moms.


Entered By Ray From Austin
2010-03-29 02:05:47

You know what else is like heroin for suburban moms? Heroin. Hell, if you're dealing on the playground anyway, might as well expand your demographic a bit, right? I mean, um...not that I'm a drug dealer or anything. Because selling drugs to kids is horrible. Horrible.



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