By Grandpa Charlie
Yep, once again, Ray, you have inspired me. And so, to ensure that you don't get all the glory for yourself, I, too, shall take a stab at proclaiming my disdain for…well…pussies.
One friend (perhaps "person of interest" would be more accurate) in particular comes to mind when I examine my own distaste for whiners who refuse to take responsibility for their lives. She knows I'm mad at her, and she's been avoiding me, but if I have the chance to vent, this is what I plan on saying:
"Twice now I have come to your aid when you said you were 'ready to change.' Invited you into my home, invested time, energy, and of course large sums of money in helping you get started on the right path. I took great pains to only guide you, knowing that if you did the work yourself, it would build your confidence and increase your independence. Two years ago, I neglected everything else in my life for you: family, work, hobbies, friends, even my own mental health.
Six months ago, you threw it all away.
Here's the source of my rage and disgust: You blame it on these two things, in an attempt to make me feel guilty for being angry: "I'm selfish," and "I was abused."
I got news for you, Girlfriend: 'selfish' is not a birth defect. It's a character trait, not an excuse, and you CAN change it. "Nobody answers my calls." And in the next breath, "I'm the most selfish person I know." Okay, so, am I supposed to just think, Oh, that's right, she's selfish, so I have to put her first in my life—over my family, my job, myself, my other friends, my hobbies. Because she just can't help being selfish. Screw that. I'm not rewarding your selfishness by jumping every time you say "Waah." You want attention from me, you gotta earn it, period.
As for the Abuse Excuse, well, Honey, I hate to tell you this, but most of the population of this fucked up planet has been abused at some point or another. Here in the the Prozac nation, we've got doctors who have devoted their lives to studying that, and…drum roll, please…treating it. These doctors have discovered that a past history of abuse can make people prone to certain patterns of thought and behavior. That's not so people like you can say, "Well, I did that because I was abused, and that's how abused people act." It's so you and your shrink can say, "Okay, you do things like this because you were abused. Now here's how to change those behaviors." You couldn't beat your abuser when you were a kid, but you sure as hell can beat him now, just by identifying those reactive inclinations and choosing NOT to act on them.
It appears to me that you've decided it's easier, and probably more fun, to stay the way you are. Drama, attention, and shirking responsibilities. "I can't help it. I'm selfish, and I was abused."
You keep beatin' that drum, Sista, but don't bring it over here. I'm done bleeding for you. I wasn't put on this earth to be crucified. That was Jesus' job, so if you're looking for someone to fuck, go to church. I'm sure there are plenty of martyrs there who are just dying to take it up the ass from you, in the name of Christian duty.
And by the way, you owe me twelve grand, bitch.