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Boo! Seriously, Though. Boo. by Ray Printer Friendly

Here we are, in October. Are you enjoying it? I hope so. I'm a little angry about it, to tell you the truth.

I know I've probably whined about this before, but October used to be one of my favorite months. It was when autumn kicked into gear, for one thing. And there was the Trick or Treating. I loved it when I was a kid, but I think I liked taking my nephews even more.

(That's a lie. I loved Trick or Treating when I was kid. As much fun as it is to take my nephews, I'm pretty sure I enjoyed it more when I was a little tyke, dressing in ultra-flammable plastic and bolting across dark roads without looking, in search of more free candy.)

Even when I lived in New York, I managed to go home for a while to visit family and take the young'uns out on a candy quest. When we moved to Austin, I figured that it'd be even easier to make the trip.

What I didn't count on was the responsibilities of having a wife. Because while I used to not give any sort of a crap about running up debt in order to make a trip home, it just isn't all that feasible anymore. And while she always tells me it's okay, she says it in that special wife way that means she's only telling me okay because she's counting on me to be an adult and take her feelings and our financial situation into consideration.

It's basically a game of poker. This is when you stare down your mate, you drop your love like chips, and you wait for the river card, you wait to see who's going to break down and do the selfish thing. Because you're doing what's right to make her happy, and she's doing what makes you happy, and when that works, it works awesome, but when someone folds, it's a ball of misery.

I never get my way in these situations, because obviously I love her more than she loves me, and I'm probably a better person, as well.

Kidding, I'm kidding! Geez. No, it's because this is how shit works sometimes. You sacrifice right now so that things will be better later on. And then later on, you sacrifice even more so that they'll be even better even further down the road. And then you die. And your kids fight over your money, until it's all wasted on lawyer fees, and you don't even get that kick-ass Batman coffin you wanted.

Which is yet another good reason not to reproduce. Screw you, you little sperm bastards, you're not getting my coffin money!

Moving on…

My point is, I just found out that I probably won't get to go home YET AGAIN because of real-life responsibility bullshit!

In case you were wondering, I am not happy about it.

Anyway, enough of that.

Important dates to remember: The 12th is Day of the Race in Mexico. I don't know what that means, but I assume it's when skinheads go down there and tell the Mexicans that they're an inferior people, and then the Mexicans sell them cheap beer and steal their organs while they're passed out. That same day is Thanksgiving in Canada, so I'm assuming they're the ones who get the organs. It's a Universal Health Care thing. It's also Columbus day here in the States, but screw that guy. He doesn't even get us a day off from work.

The 16th is "National Boss Day" in the US. Seriously? That should be the day where you get to punch them in the nuts. Or the ovaries. Whatever. You want me to celebrate having a boss, calendar? Two words: get screwed. Not in a good way.

United Nations Day on the 24th, but I don't know what that means, either.

And then, Halloween on the 31st, of course. The only real holiday this month. Don't get mad at me, Canada, and Mexico. Your holidays are important, I'm sure. It's just that asking me to get really excited about them is like a 10-year-old kid trying to get his 17-year-old sister excited about his new Transformer when she's got a guy's hand down her pants. Wait, did I just say I was getting fingered by Halloween?

Let's move on again…

So what's new this month around The Strangelands? Well, I'm working on some more of those little booklets, so maybe I'll be able to show you some of those. Also, I'm hoping to get another Portly Boy story up. We'll see about that one, though--the fat man's been dodging me lately, and he moves pretty fast for a guy his size.

I've got loads of pictures I need to go through, so hopefully I'll get some of those up. Also, there will probably be all kinds of posts about how I really haven't been posting much lately.

One more thing--I nuked the First-Of-The-Month Quotes again. I had them saved in my phone, and I finally realized that when the battery is removed from my phone, it removes the saved messages. Unfortunately, I sometimes have to take the battery out to make the phone work. I'm going to do something with Twitter, I think, so that as soon as I hear one, I can save it someplace stable. More to come on that.

So, yeah, it'll be a pretty lively month around these parts. Hope to see you around.

Entered By Anonymous From Unknown
2009-10-01 14:42:34

Do we get one seriously whacked and gorey horror tale, in honor of October's only exciting American holiday? Maybe something involving stolen organs in Mexico showing up in Canada....

Entered By Ray From Austin
2009-10-02 02:34:55

I generally try to write a story for Halloween, so hopefully I'll get around to it, but you never can tell about me.

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