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Hate Week Day One by Sammie Jams Printer Friendly

Morning conversation:

Me: Hey, it's hate week!

Him: What? Who do you hate?

Me: You, sweetheart, I hate you.

Him: I can’t hear you, but ok.

Me: I hate you.

Hate Week Post 1 “When People”

I hate when people…

- cut me off but then wave to me as if they were apologizing. Fuck you, man. If you’re going to cut me off, cut me the hell off and tell me to kiss your ass. This world has no use for half-assed assholes.

- say, “It’s like this song was written for me,” or “The lyrics describe EXACTLY how I’m feeling!” This does not mean that there is some special link between you and the “artist” (and I use the term VERY loosely). This just means that your emotions, viewpoints, and probably your entire personality are generic. P.S. Don’t make me listen to the song and force me to nod and agree that it is so totally you.

- dress their tiny dogs in tiny clothes and email their pictures to me with captions like, “Stupid-dog-name-ending-in-a-Y, looooooves her pink tutu.” Or “Stupid-dog-name-ending-in-a-Y looks soooooo pretty in her sweater.”

- to learn how to spell D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y.

- disregard the idea of Personal Space.

- look down on me for letting my boyfriend play video games on the couch while I cook dinner, build a shower caddy for the bathroom, and separate our laundry right when I get home from work. One, our relationship is none of your business. Two, I work in an air-conditioned office with a comfy chair and I’m usually sitting all day doing my work in peace, while he works in a humid basement with no fan with a boss who is constantly at his heels. Who deserves a rest when they get home? Three, he washes dishes, takes out the garbage, and lifts the heavy things, he also makes sure I don’t fall down when I’m drunk, and keeps other guys from hitting on me. He does his share, he just wants to play video games and I’m fine with it.

- don’t say thank you when I hold the door open for them. Especially when it’s a bunch of teenaged girls in booty shorts with words on the ass, their hair in some sloppy mess, big sunglasses, and flipflops.


Comments:
Entered By From
2009-08-07 00:15:33

Hey Sammie Jams. I hate your hate list. It's weak.


Entered By Sammie From Unknown
2009-08-07 03:30:33

Thanks, man. I hate your comment.


Entered By Ray From Austin
2009-08-07 03:33:13

Comic Book Guy must have forgotten to sign his comment. I think it's a perfectly fine list except for that part about being able to spell definitely. That part feels like a personal attack against me, because I always spell that word wrong. If I'm writing something and don't have spell-check, I'll substitute "totally." Lame, I know, but my brain refuses to work with me. Because it thinks I'm an idiot.


Entered By Karen From Indiana
2009-08-08 03:15:54

Well this isn't starting off well for me - I'm in the very first hated group, 'cause I cut folks off then apologize for doing so. Usually because I wasn't paying attention, and then realize I was cutting someone off. The wave is usually topped off with a nod of self-disapproval (ie: my bad, I suck, so sorry.) I'm definately good on the rest, though. ... what?


Entered By Diane From NH
2009-08-11 00:25:44

Does it make it any better if I cut someone off and then smile and wave and laugh like I totally knew them from grade school and acted like I thought they were actually waving me forward to be in front of them on purpose? "Cuz frankly that's a frickin BLAST.


Entered By Leslie From Texas
2009-08-11 17:36:47

I'm just glad that whole dog-in-a-tutu thing wasn't on Ray's list. Because we just got a Yorkie Terrier and honestly, one of the first things that popped into my head was, "I'm SO going to dress this puppy up and torture Ray with tutu pictures." If the family insists on a lap dog, there have got to be some advantages, right? As for the rest of your list, I completely agree.


Entered By Anonymous From Unknown
2009-08-21 21:40:41

Sammie, those bootie-short girls are channelling their inner Paris Hilton - They don't have time to say things like thank you. Because they have AIDS.



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