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What Has Two Thumbs And A Job? by Ray Printer Friendly


Okay, I know that joke doesn't work nearly as well without a picture, but I tried to find a picture online, and it ended up just creeping me right the hell out.

One thing you don't want to do is use Google images with no safe search to find the phrase "two thumbs up." One of the first images I saw was this:

Before you look, you might want to prepare yourself. If you are at work, this means you should probably leave work. Otherwise, it just means you are about to see something...disturbing.

You were warned.

The above picture is a woman ass-fisting a corpse. I'm hot-linking it because I didn't want to have to upload that picture anywhere in my own storage. I know hot-linking is rude and lame, but come on. If the picture above is of anything other than a woman ass-fisting a corpse, they caught wise to my game and changed it.

Which can be found at girlsandcorpses.com . And before you ask, I don't know what the website's all about. My browser history could get me locked up for long enough with out that kind of exploration.

Sooo, back to the search. I found it interesting that as soon as you add "two thumbs" to almost any search, you get a picture of Lindsay Lohan's vagina. I'm not sure what this means, but it kind of arouses me. I don't know why, and it's not something I want to explore.

I tried various names of people I would want pictures of, but mostly I just kept getting increasingly creepy pictures. At one point, however, I came across a great one of Obama with his two thumbs pointed at himself, as if he were the one saying the titular words. But after a while, I decided that people might think that A) I was making some racist commentary about black people and jobs, or B) that I was being political.

I tried being political at one point, and it sounded like I wanted to mouth-sex Obama, so I don't do that anymore. Plus, he's rapidly doing things to this country that creep me out almost as much as using Goggle images without safe search. So I didn't want to send the message about being political. If I have to explain why I didn't want to sent the message that I'm a racist asshole, you probably need to move along to a website without so many words.

Next, I decided to get one of The Fonz. I mean, come on, right? The dude was always pointing at himself. "Heeeey!" But then I wasn't really sure if Mr. Winkler is doing much work these days, and I was too lazy to look it up. So instead of research, I just gave up.

The picture wasn't even supposed to be the point of the post. The point was that I got a freakin' job. I was going to tell you all about it, starting from the day before, when I tried to get a decent haircut for the interview and ended up accidentally getting my head shaved. But alas, that is a post for another day, I guess.

posted 6/25/09

Entered By Karen From Indiana
2009-06-26 18:18:24

Congrats on the job! That's great.

Entered By Diane From NH
2009-06-27 00:44:08

Sometimes I should know better than to scroll down. I was warned. I know. But GAWD, really? I'm going to go read some Stephen King so I can get some sleep without creepy dreams.

Entered By Ray From Austin
2009-06-27 03:38:51

Think about me, man! I didn't even have any warning.

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