Don't ask me how, but the other night, I came across a website that sold dragon cock dildos. I always enjoy seeing something created by someone more fucked up than me, so I checked it out. What I found was nothing short of amazing. Amazing in a good way or a bad way, Iím still not sure. I spent quite a bit of time exploring the site, and I still donít know if I should salute the human race or vow to destroy it.
But thatís a post for another time. The only reason I mention it right now is because after seeing it, I had to discuss it with someone. I immediately texted two friends.
me: Just came across a place on the internet that sells dildos in the shape of dragon cocks. You better hope they're expensive or I'm getting you one.
friend: Oh, they're expensive.
me: Not expensive enough. I have a job by Christmas, I totally know what I'm getting you.
me: They have "cum tubes." Outstanding! Also, there's one that's a dragon vagina, but they're sold out. Disturbing on so many levels.
friend: You find the strangest things.
me: I find the strangest things...erotic.
Yep, that's what passes for a dragon vagina these days.
I didn't even know dragons had clits. Just goes to show that you're never too old to learn new things.
At this point, that friend stopped talking to me. In fact, I havenít heard from her since. I canít say I blame her, although I must say that Iím a little disappointed in her lack of follow-through. Not to be deterred from whatever the hell was passing as a thought process by then, I texted another friend, this one a male.
me: Okay...so we'll film mini-pornos, right? For websites that sell sex toys. For example, I just saw a site that has dildos in the shape of dragon cocks. There are people out there would would pay money to see some hot chick fuck a dragon cock dildo, you know there are. Hell, if I could afford to, I would. Mini-pornos for product placement and advertising. That's what we should do.
friend: Good lord, that is kinda genius.
me: Red bull cola, jim beam, and bad-dragon.com
me: Right? The scary thing is that the dragon vaginas are sold out.
friend: Ummm...I thought that was the disappointing thing...
me: When it comes to dragon vagina, scary and disappointing usually run hand in hand.