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Fun With Math by Ray Printer Friendly

So classes have started, and this was my first week of summer school. I'm only taking two classes, and then I'll be finished. Unfortunately, one of these classes is math. I am not what you would call a math person. In fact, if math was a guy, I would have absolutely no qualms about beating him to death with a blunt object, pulling out all of his teeth, scraping away the tips of his fingers, and burying him in a shallow grave out in the woods after bathing him in hydrochloric acid.

And then, when it came on the news about how it was a real loss for the world, I'd get real drunk and dance around my apartment, glad that I would never, ever, ever have to look at, try to figure out, or think of math again.

Because I hate that shit.

Here are my notes from tonight:

"Don't mind me, Teacher, I'm just over here mathing away like I'm supposed to!"

I don't know if you can tell from the picture, but there isn't all that much math going on there. Of course, when you have this:

you don't really need any math notes. I'm pretty sure that's answer enough for any stupid math problem.

"If the square root of 'a' is equal to negative 5 divided by-"

"Devil pig with an eyepatch, bitches!"

"Why, yes. Yes, it is. You get extra credit."

"I know."

But sometimes even devil pig with an eyepatch isn't enough to distract you from the misery that is math, and that began to show through in my drawings:

This was going to just be some guy killing himself, but my princess has forbidden me from drawing suicidal cartoons in class...anymore.

I noticed the girl beside me kept looking at my paper, so I decided to give her a little something to think about after class:

At this point, I started imagining the teacher calling me up to explain my notes.

I was gonna go, "And here, it's mathematically proven that chicks dig dudes with dynamtie eyes."

And she was going to give me a gold star.

I realized that taking notes was pretty much a lost cause by then, but I was still trying. I tried to draw along with the teacher as she did her Venn Diagrams, but I quickly lost interest because Venn Diagrams are boring as shit.

It was either make the diagram monster eyes or boobs, and I didn't want math to ruin boobs for me.

And that was class tonight.

I learned a lot.

posted 6/05/09


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