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Political Pep Talk by Ray Printer Friendly

It's midnight, I'm hot, and my air conditioner doesn't work. I blame Obama for the broken air conditioner.

Since before the election, Trey has been telling me that I was backing the wrong horse (not the losing horse--just the wrong one), and each time he told/tells me, I told/tell him maybe so, but only time will tell.

And I'm starting to feel like time is telling. Don't get me wrong--I don't think the other guy would have been doing any better at this point. He would have been fucking up just as bad, but in other ways.

Obama has been creeping me out pretty much since he took office. I still like the guy, but I don't for one moment think that he's one of the good guys. He sounds good, though, and after George W., I needed someone to sound good. I needed someone to inspire me, and to fool me into believing, even if it was just for a little bit. McCain was not that someone. He reminded me of the rich old guy who would kick your puppy if it got away for just a moment and ran onto his lawn.

And Palin reminded of a blond joke gone way too far.

Obama was what was left, and I felt pretty good about voting for him.

What has changed? Well, for one thing, there are the campaign promises that have been broken and pissed on, but you kind of have to expect that, right?

What I didn't expect was how much the government was going to take over, or how quickly.

And I really didn't expect it to play such a major part in my life in less than two years. Tonight, for example, while I sit around at my computer, too hot to sleep, and too angry to write something productive.

I said that I blame Obama, and that's the truth. I'm not too sure that it's justified blame, but my balls are stewing in their own juices at the moment, so I don't give much of a damn if it's justified or not.

All I know is, the government began giving businesses all kinds of rebates for being environmentally aware. In my case, it means that the apartment complex where I live decided to change to energy saving thermostats. Which means that Austin Energy can remotely turn off my air conditioner for ten minutes of every half hour during the summer months.

Here's the thing: I live in Austin fucking Texas. In the summer months, you can cook a baby on the sidewalk in ten minutes. It takes a little longer in an un-air conditioned apartment, but I think you see my point. No, don't question how I know about cooking babies on sidewalks--just accept.

This isn't the kind of place you want someone turning off your air conditioner every twenty minutes. Because that's fucking annoying. If someone came into my house and started pulling that shit, I would break their hands and then piss in their eyes. And then, when they were screaming about the broken hands and piss-in-eyes thing, I would piss in their mouth.

At that point, we could sit around in my sometime-climate-controlled apartment, wondering who was more thirsty: the fat guy who just finished up all of this pissing, or the guy who really needs to get this saltwater out of his system and this taste of piss out of his mouth.

Because turning off a guy's air conditioner in the summer months is not cool, man.

And as if that didn't suck enough, it doesn't work. By "it," I mean my air conditioner. Either the guy fucked up when he installed the new thermostat, or something snapped when he fired it back up, or the world just flat-out hates me. For whatever reason, my apartment never cooled back down after he left at three this afternoon. In fact, it has been growing steadily hotter, and there is nothing to be done about it.

My princess called Austin Energy, and they informed her that it wasn't anything they did--probably just a coincidence that my air conditioner broke the same day their guy came over and fucked with it. So we have to call the maintenance guys first thing tomorrow (they won't do anything tonight because it doesn't count as an emergency).

Oh, and did I mention this?

Still all messed up from when I had to move it this morning. Pictured at far right: the thermostat that ass-reamed my life


This is the shelf I have to clean off and move every time someone comes to mess with my air conditioner. Clean off and then move. Which is awesome to do when you don't have a working air conditioner.


In case you were wondering, and because I wanted more pictures: my top shelf (where I keep my favorite authors).


And if you were wondering if I'm enough of an egomaniac to keep my books up there...HELL YES.


But you know what? All this whining about a broken air conditioner is bullshit. Doesn't matter.

What matters is that someone else now controls my air conditioning. What matters is that because of the government, I have lost yet another choice. Another freedom, which is what this country is supposed to be all about.

And that's what's seriously fucking me up about our new administration, kids. This is not subtle stuff. It's blatant and it's rapid, and it's disturbing. It's about telling private industry how to run and who to fire. It's about bribing us out of our freedom.

I fear that one day I will wake up in a world that is completely and insanely regulated, and I will have no one to blame but myself.

Actually, that's not true.

I will have someone else to blame.

I will blame all of the unmotivated fucks out there who are always bitching about how the government should help.

I will blame the whiners who don't feel like they should have to monitor their children when ratings systems for TV/Movies/Video games work so much better.

I will blame all the dickholes who never learned how to take responsibility for their own lives and all the shitstains who think they deserve something for nothing.

I will blame America.


posted 5/28/09


Comments:
Entered By Anonymous From Unknown
2009-05-28 12:29:00

I agree with you on this. So far no one is messing with my a/c....maybe because my husband is an HVAC tech! I didn't vote for Obama, because after years of listening to politicians, I knew that he was just that, except quite a bit more power hungry than the rest. It is time to rise up against big government. Google July 4th rallies and join the rest of us in making our feelings heard.


Entered By Ray From Austin
2009-05-28 14:56:26

I don't think he's any more power hungry than the others--they're all pretty lustful about it. And I don't think the Republicans would do any better, honestly. They all want in our shit. I just want a government that will back the hell off and let us live our lives. And yes, I know how unrealistic that sounds.


Entered By James From Austin
2009-05-28 19:49:36

I was talking politics with fellow Strangeland's contributor Jesse -- who turned me onto the site in the first place -- and we decided we are going to post the conversation and let our fellow stranglanders bring their own particular pro-cannibalistic slant to the table. Basically the question I proposed was "is polotics worth it'. Meaning, even if you could change things and gain political power, and bring intelligence and rationality into governing, and stop the corruption etc... would you want to. More to come when my lazy ass has a chance to visit this site besides the times at work when it is taking too long to download some lame ass excel file -- oh great, my spreadsheet is ready.


Entered By Karen From Indiana
2009-05-29 02:24:16

Our political process isn't perfect, but it beats a lot of other models, imo. I think a lot of folks who want less or no government don't fully realize what that would mean to them and others. And thanks to Obama, my COBRA payment went from $600/mo to $200/mo for the same coverage. I have health insurance I can afford to pay for, thanks to them. That's huge. http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/COBRA.html I like that bookcase, btw. Why don't you ship it to me (minus your books, of course. Portly Boy? Who's that? *zing*), that way you won't have to move it next time the a/c goes out.


Entered By Ray From Austin
2009-07-09 04:42:37

You shouldn't joke about Portly Boy, Karen. Portly Boy is serious business. Also, no mentioning COBRA unless you're talking about the enemy of GI Joe. Seriously, dude, I got so excited there for a second, thinking you were paying your dues or something, and then you pissed all over my hopes.



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