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Spiders & Candy by Ray Printer Friendly

I was supposed to be taking a nap. I didn't get any sleep last night, and I've got a ton of stuff to do tonight, so I was going to take a quick nap in hopes that I'd recharge a bit. Instead, I got distracted by a little spider on the screen door.

This creepy little fellow was peeping in at me.

This one was taken with my macro lens. It's a little fuzzy because I don't really know how to work my macro lens. I know you have to get close, though, and I wasn't willing to subject my eyes to a jumpy little spider for a picture.

Shortly after I took these pictures, another spider crawled up through the deck and they both began acting all jittery and skittery. And then they screwed. Or fought. I don't really know much about spiders. It looked like mating to me, though--a few seconds of spastic jerking around and then one laughed and the other went off to feel bad about himself. That's sex, right?

Anyway, I didn't get any pictures of that because I had already taken out my memory card to upload my pictures, and by the time I got my crap together, they had gone their separate ways.

Here's the second spider. He was much hoppier, so I didn't get a super close-up of him. Plus, all my pictures are fuzzy because he kept running away.

He tried to go back and get her number, but she was highly aggressive after that and he ran away. Look how much bigger that one is. Male spiders are into the BBW thing, I guess. And if you don't know what that means, definitely Google image search it. You'll be glad you did.

Here's the spider running away in shame. Although I can totally relate, I mocked him and called him names, so I could feel better about myself.

Because I got way creeped out by looking at close-up shots of spiders and the aftermath of spider lust, I decided to take pictures of other stuff. Candy was the only thing close:

Ice Breakers Wild Berry Sours, or something like that. I also have some that are called Raspberry Ice Tea, and they taste exactly like Raspberry ice tea. It's very strange. Speaking of strange, why the hell is there a "p" in raspberry? Dumb.

posted 4/08/09

Entered By Nikon Corp From Global
2009-04-13 02:50:14

Please return our camera. Or give it to Karen in Indiana. She won't tell disturbing, random-ending stories like this with the photos she takes. Thank you.

Entered By Ray From Austin
2009-04-13 03:42:34

Yes she will. She's an alcoholic, you know. You're welcome.

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