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Lame-Ass Movie Review: The Watchmen by Ray Printer Friendly

I went and watched the movie Watchmen yesterday. I was trying to be responsible and watch my online lectures, but the program that the instructors use to shareóAdobe Connectóconstantly crashes out, and sometimes it doesnít start back up. This was the case yesterday afternoon.

I havenít ever read the Watchmen comics, so I wasnít rabidly awaiting its release like a lot of people, nor was I pissed off about the changed ending or whatever. Frankly, I was just a little bored and was curious.

So I went and watched it.

It was okay. Pretty good, actually. Like I said, I never read the comics, so I didnít have any kind of personal investment in the movie. One thing that surprised me was when they started throwing around the f-bomb. I had just assumed that the movie was rated pg-13, and had totally overlooked the r-rating.

Itís a pretty brutal story, and there arenít many good guys. I mean, even the heroes are rapists and killers.

Also, thereís tons of blue cock. So if blue swinginí schlong is your thing, baby you need to check this movie out.

Thereís a few titty shots, and some graphic violence, if youíd like to see that along with your raping superheroes and your blue cock.

The story is pretty good, too. Which is quite refreshing in a day where blockbusters are comprised of glittery vampires (or glimmery, or whatever stupid shit that Twilight bitch has her vampires do), a black man dressing up as a black woman, high school kids dancing around like brain-fucked douchebags, or Kevin James as a clumsy mall cop.

So was I super crazy about it? Not really. Iíll probably buy it when it comes out on DVD, and when I watch it again, maybe Iíll like it a lot more, or maybe I wonít like it as much. Neither would surprise me.

If youíre looking to watch a movie, and donít mind seeing glowing blue dicks, brutal murders, and rape, you should check this one out. It isnít jam-packed with action, and it requires more thinking than most comic book movies, but itís pretty good stuff.

If you just want some thoughtless action-packed explosion-fest, be patientóThe Stath is back next month with Crank 2.

Oh and if thatís not good enough for you, Johnny Depp and Christian Bale are starring in a gangster movie this summer called Public Enemies. I saw this preview before The Watchmen, and almost got my boner in my popcorn.

So anyway, that was my lame-ass review of Watchmen.


posted 3/08/09


Comments:
Entered By cody From alaska
2009-03-08 10:20:49

blue cock? im there!!!


Entered By Anonymous From Unknown
2009-03-08 13:46:58

you failed to mention the abundance of man-ass in the movie.


Entered By Ray From Austin
2009-03-09 02:17:25

For some reason, I find it both hilarious and incredibly fitting that someone from Alaska would like blue cock. Wow, that sounds pretty insulting, now that I read it. I just picture Alaska being really cold, and some dude hearing about a movie with blue cock going, "Finally! Alaska represent, bitches!" Because it's so cold that their cocks are blue, you see. And, yes, there's also a lot of man-ass. Glowy, sky-blue man-ass. It's beautiful and hypnotizing.


Entered By Anonymous From Unknown
2009-03-18 01:45:23

Hey ray, how'd the movie end? When that blue man meat started swinging I went Paul Rubens and got thrown out.


Entered By Ray From Austin
2009-03-20 14:42:06

Kinda like Fight Club--there's an explosion, one final shot of the cock, and then end credits.



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