Like this, like you look out the window, and it's all beautiful, and you can barely believe that you exist in such an incredible world, right? But then, and this can happen in an instant, you catch sight of your reflection, and you canít believe that this is the you that exists in such an incredible world.
Because where did it all go, thatís what I want to know. When did that flame of magic give up on me? When did life decide it had more interesting things to do? Adventures avoid me, like children who have outgrown the hugs of their parentsóif Iím incredibly persistent, I might get a fleeting glimpse of what was once abundant.
But it was all there once, and it wasnít all that long ago. Even the madness has mellowed. ďYeah, yeah, youíre nuts or whatever. Way to go, with doing something wacky, or saying something offensive. Look, hereís a Christmas card, and Iím sorry we couldnít make it for a visit, but we really miss you. Love, Insanity.Ē
Is that how it goes? Is it that easy to miss? You fall in love, you get married, you think it doesnít matter, because whateveróyou are who you are, and nothing will change that. But then you find yourself doing things, things unlike you. You find yourself being considerate. Maybe a little selfless. You find yourself taking life seriously.
Motherfucker! Itís called domesticated, if youíre in polite company. Itís called imaginative castration if itís three in the morning and youíre hanging out drunk with friends.
And suddenly Iím wondering why itís not three in the morning, and why Iím not hanging out with friends.
I have for sure lost a step.