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Bedtime Story by Ray Printer Friendly

I had this dream last night. I was walking through a hallway, and I came upon a dimly-lit room. There was nothing but a giant desk in front of an enormous shelf full of books, and the dim light was shining directly on it.

You remember those shows where the old guy would sit at the desk and open a book? He started reading a story, and the screen would fade out, and soon you’d be watching the story. It’s too early for me to think of the name or even bother to look it up.

It was like that, only there wasn’t any old guy reading a book.

I waited, but nothing happened. After several minutes, I turned to go.

“Thank you for joining us this evening,” A voice said.

I turned back to the desk. Sitting there was my penis. It was wearing a top hat and an Abraham Lincoln beard. The beard was around the crown of the penis, not down where pubic hair is meant to be. My penis began telling me a story. When it spoke, the tip spread so that the urethral opening moved like a mouth.

It told a fantastic story, and when I woke up this morning, I fought to remember it.

I forgot it, of course, so now you only get to hear about how I had a dream where my penis read me a story.

posted 7/09/08

Entered By Trey From Fort Worth
2008-07-09 16:22:44

Some nice men in white coats are on their way to see you. I think they want to take you and Abraham Penis to, ummmm..., lunch.

Entered By Ray From Austin
2008-07-09 17:23:14

As long as it isn't hot dogs...

Entered By Karen From Indiana
2008-07-10 05:58:26

I think Honest Abe with the pubic hair beard was telling you a story about how you shouldn't procreate.

Entered By Ray From Austin
2008-07-10 20:07:25

I think we all know that I don't need a fancy penis to know I shouldn't procreate.

Entered By Karen From Indiana
2008-07-11 05:47:48

Good point.

Entered By Ray From Austin
2008-07-11 16:54:34

Of course, a fancy penis always makes everything better.

Entered By Leslie From Texas
2008-07-12 04:20:33

So glad to be back from vacation, dear brother. Look at all I've missed being away from my computer for a week and a half -- yet another Ray-And-His Penis story. Maybe Trey should create a separate section for all the stories about you and your favorite anatomy part -- "The Penis Chronicles" maybe? Well, at least he's just wearing his dress clothes and not zipped, jalapeno-juiced or blasted with soft drinks.

Entered By Ray From Austin
2008-07-27 03:07:23

My penis is moving up in the world.

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