A few suggestions for making your Hate Week all that it can be:
1) Put the toilet seat down when you're finished? How 'bout not lifting it at all?
2) Ask everyone you see, "Cold enough for you?"
3) Tell everyone, in detail, about that dream you had last night where you were a bunny rabbit.
4) Kick more puppies.
5) Kick more kittens.
6) Kick more children.
7) This week, we secretly replaced the office's regular coffee with decaffinated...
8) Glue all the sheets on the toilet paper together.
9) When someone does something nice, say "Spank You"
10) Pay in pennies.
11) Show up for that meeting good and drunk. Bring the bottle. Every couple of minutes exclaim, "Hey is that a cocker spanial?" Crawl under the table and have a nip.
13) Exchange her favorite pair of shoes for a size smaller. Finally show your romantic side and take her dancing.
14) Ask random people to smell your finger.
15) Sing Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" at full volume on the subway. With feeling. If possible, cry a bit. Explain that it reminds you of your grandmother.
16) Someone left a couple dollars on the table after they paid their check. Go ahead, take em... you've always wanted to.
17) For the New Yorkers in the crowd. Walk slower. Preferably on the wrong side of the stairs during rush hour.
18) Replace the suger with crushed ex-lax.
19) You've always wanted to pull that fire alarm, now is the time.
20) See how many cigarettes you can bum from the poor shivering smokers huddled outside buildings and bars. Every time you get one, pull a handful out of your pocket and say, "That makes 45! If only I smoked." Laugh maniacally.
21) Send everyone in your company an email telling them to visit www.thestrangelands.com for the very best in penile enlargement and hardcore monkey lovin'.
Have an unhappy Hate Week!