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Happy St. Patrick's Day by Ray Printer Friendly

Hey, Ray, it’s been a while since you whined about some sort of health problem. What gives?

Well, since you asked…

I was ripped from sleep on Sunday morning by a rude and painful leg cramp. I jumped from my bed, stumbled around, and then sat back down, trying to figure out a way to make it stop hurting. I tried to walk it off—my first avenue when dealing with almost any physical pain not induced by walking—and then I tried to massage it out. Then I just stared at it angrily, because it was really hurting and I was still sleepy.

I’m an old fatty who drinks too much, so I should be glad that this kind of thing doesn’t happen more often. But that kind of reasoning doesn’t hold much weight when you’re scrambling around your bedroom before daybreak, shrieking out curses and trying to ignore your enormous belly as it bounces around. That’s how sudden and intense the pain was—I didn’t even stop to put on a shirt before springing from my bed.

I finally found enough sense to take some ibuprofen, and the pain calmed down enough so that I could go back to sleep. When I woke up several hours later, my leg was still hurting. Not as bad, but still enough that I couldn’t step flat-footed—the muscle was cramped too tight.

As the day progressed, it chilled out a bit, and by nighttime, I was feeling all right. Just before I went to bed, the pain started again, this time in both legs.

This is not really a new sensation for me. When I was working in the pool chemical warehouse, I often suffered pretty crazy leg cramps—usually due to dehydration—which is why I drank glass after glass of water yesterday. I also took some potassium, because that has always seemed to help with my leg cramps.

I was up the entire night last night. I tried to crash out on the couch, but to no avail. My princess came out this morning at 5:30, “You’re already up?”

I explained the situation, and then showed her all the pointless crap I got done by not going to bed.

Which brings us to the point of the story. A picture of Ms. Pacman servicin’ him a ghost in a dark alley. Because of rik.

Not that great, I know, but it was the best I could do with the source material. You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find a suggestive picture of Ms. Pacman. Until now, that is.

Oh, yeah, I made the ghost green because it’s St. Patrick’s Day.

posted 3/17/08

Entered By Karen From Indiana
2008-03-18 01:07:36

And to think, the 'title' attribute in html was originally intended to be used as an accessibility feature. Y'know you can add an ALT tag to your images, for more Ray humor. Then god save the legally blind person using a screen reader trying to figure out what the hell you're writing about. ha.

Entered By Ray From Austin
2008-03-18 03:53:02

I wondered if anyone would notice that. So far, I've left out the ALT thing because I'm pretty sure the fates would misinterpret my good deed as taunting and would strike me blind. Also, I'm too lazy to put in that extra line.

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