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New Year? Save Your Receipt by Ray Printer Friendly

Happy New Years, Strangelanders. Hopefully, most of you were able to usher in the new year with more debauchery than I was, and hopefully youíre all able to hunt down any livers/stomachs/other body parts you may have lost during the night. And good luck getting rid of any STDs you might have picked up.

I, myself, stayed criminally sober last night. I stayed up until midnight, watching Carson Dalyís New Year Celebration because the other two local stations were playing commercials at the time. I kissed my princess to start the new year, and then curled up on the couch beside her. Shortly after that, I was asleep, because apparently my new yearís resolution is to be eighty. Keeping with that resolution better than I have ever stuck to a new yearís resolution, I woke up at six this morning, needing to pee. Hooray for being an old man!

It was sort of interesting to be awake so early on the first day of the new year. Several times, I heard people pulling into or pulling out of the apartment parking lot. Many times, I heard their hurried footsteps rushing towards the brush at the edge of the property, shortly before hearing all kinds of gagging sounds. As pathetic as my previous nightís celebrating was, Iím grateful that Iím not one of the guys up at six a.m., puking out my lungs at the edge of a parking lot.

Anyway, here we are, in 2008. And I have to say, Iím glad to see you.

Iím not sure whatís going to be going on around here this month, but Iím hoping to get quite a bit of crap written before I have to go back to school in a couple of weeks. Maybe some tales about my recent trip home, and Iíve been thinking about a few short stories that might be worth writing down. I thought up a really good rant the other night while I was leaking my brains out my nose and coughing up my pancreas, but Iíve since forgottenósorry. If itís any consolation, Iím sure Iíll think up more crap to rant about.

The most significant change is going to be in regards to Hate Week. Usually, this goes down in January, but due to overwhelming public demand, Iím kicking it back to August this year. Because August really sucks, and maybe starting out the year with a load of hate isnít the best way to do things. Besides, it usually takes me more than a month to get my shit together at the beginning of each year, and Hate Week should be an event that gets my complete attention, right?

But whatever. Weíre here! We made it to the future! To think ahead any more than this moment is just getting greedy.



This doesnít really have anything to do with anything, but I had a really hard time thinking up a new tag line for this month. I settled for the chicken thing because I was tired of thinking. Previous attempts spawned such sentiments as, ďSelflessly Sacrificing Our Strong Moral Standing For The Greater Good,Ē which was too long, and ďLike A Crowded Street For The Mental Exhibitionist.Ē I wasnít sure if that last one even made sense or not. If anyone has any suggestions for next month, feel free to email them to me at ray@thestrangelands.com.


posted 1/01/08


Comments:
Entered By Diane From NH
2008-01-04 19:23:30

The mental exhibitionist was a great line. Very appropriate considering the amount of intimately personal information that ends up here. Have a happy one.


Entered By Karen Demerly From Indiana
2008-01-04 20:36:14

Happy... I mean, HAPPY NEW YEAR, RAY! GOOD LUCK WITH THAT RESOLUTION!


Entered By Ray From Austin
2008-01-04 22:43:30

Diane: Right up there was "My brain will show you his if you show him yours." But then I remembered this is a family website.

Karen: I'm not sure if that's yelling so I can hear with my old man ears, or large print so I can read with my old man eyes, but thanks. Punk kid.



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