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Thankful by Ray Printer Friendly

Ah, the night after Thanksgiving. I trust you did your share of eating and slothing around on the day of thanks. My momís visiting, so I couldnít really strip out of my pants like I generally do after eating insane amounts of food. For a while, I thought I was having some problems with my spleen or something, but then I unbuttoned my top button and realized that Iím just a horrible, horrible glutton. Also, I realized I donít really have any idea where my spleen is.

Sheís gone to bed now, though (my mom, not my spleen), so itís high time for me to strip down to my Spider-Man boxers and Mr. Rogers t-shirt and have myself a drink. Iíve felt off all day, really. I woke up at six-thirty this morning because my princess was in the kitchen beginning to get things ready for our feast. Usually Iím up at four, thawing out the turkey and things, but this year I didnít have to do that, so I decided to sleep in. Because sheís always getting up early to go to school, she was up and at Ďem like usual, which meant she was clanging pots and pans around about five feet from where I was sleeping. Which meant that I wasnít sleeping much more after she was awake.

I spent quite a bit of the day in a haze, preparing food while listening to my mom carry on about her new boyfriend. I swear, you canít even make fun of the color-blind without her bringing him up. Of course, heís color-blind (which I found out shortly after making a joke about the color-blind), so I guess thatís understandable. And if youíre wondering what kind of bastard makes fun of the color-blind, wellÖI think you know the answer to that. What good is giving thanks if you donít get to make yourself feel superior to the less fortunate in some way, right?

Anyway, so hearing about how in love she is was interesting in a frog-dissection, fascinating-but-terribly-creepy kind of way, I guess. Needless to say, I was glad when I faded away into my gluttony-induced nap. Waking up after a Thanksgiving nap always messes with me. I never feel right, you know?

Just full and bloated and kind of greasy. Honestly, I didnít even eat as much this year as I usually do. I had a pile of mashed potatoes, a slice of turkey, and a mound of stuffing. Green bean casserole, of course, and cranberry sauce. Pretty typical stuff, and in smaller quantities than on previous holidays. Which is why I find it so odd that ten hours later, Iím still food-groggy and belching celery-tasting nastiness.

Other than that, itís been a pretty uneventful day (how sad is it when overeating counts as an event in your life?). Oh, my computer keyboard is kind of acting up, which is messing with me pretty bad. For example, I typed ďcelery,Ē a second ago, and the first time around, what ended up on screen was ďcy.Ē So, yeah.

And thatís my holiday. Honestly, itís been a really great time. Good times, good food, good people. Oh, and if youíre looking for something to be thankful for, here:

(Flight of the Conchords)

posted 11/23/07

Entered By Mom From Texas
2007-11-26 17:04:58

I noticed you left out quite alot about my boyfriend. . . You know more because I told you.

Entered By Ray From Austin
2007-11-27 03:19:38

Yes, yes, you did tell me more. So much more. Enough to fill a therapist's notebook, probably. I'm going to go curl myself up in a corner somewhere and cry now.

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