Last week, while I was dealing with some of the worst physical pain I’ve ever endured in my life, I missed a test. In Art History. Yes, I’m taking Art History. I had to have an “art appreciation” class for my degree plan, and that was the only one that still had open spots.
Anyway, so I missed a test. I went in to talk to the teacher about it today, and he was a total cockhead. We’re standing there at the front of the class, and he’s giving me this long-winded lecture about how I should have kept him more informed of the situation so that we could have already arranged a time for my make-up test. “Are you even prepared for this test, or are you just going to waste my time and yours?” he asked.
“I can take it.”
“I know you can, but are you pre-parrrred?”
“I’m prepared.” This was a blatant lie, of course. I studied for it, but it’s a shitpile of Italian artists and a shitpile of styles of painting that I really can’t bring myself to give a damn about. I tried to learn it, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail.
He goes off some more about how his time is very important, and blah blah fucking blah. I stopped listening and started reading the poster stapled to the wall about how we all have to use these rooms and it’s respectful to pick up any trash that we have.
Basically, I just stood there and took it like a little bitch, because I was kind of amazed and also caught a little off guard. Had he been my employer, I would have told him to get fucked. One of the best parts about working jobs with lousy pay is that you can always find another one. Your tolerance for bullshit drops way down.
But this is different—this is just some goofball teaching Art History at a community college. Don’t get me wrong—a job like that beats the hell out of pool supply delivery. It’s not like I can claim any sort of social high ground here. But still.
That was at 1:40 this afternoon. As I type this, it is 8:45 at night. I just now thought of the perfect rebuttal. Seven hours too late.
See, brain, this is why you don’t have any friends. ‘Cause you’re a jerk.