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Not For The Weak Hearted...Or The Weak Rectumed by Ray Printer Friendly

Carey once told us a story from when she was working in a nursing home. Actually, she told us stories more than once, but only one of the stories scarred me irreparably for life. It was about an old person who, while trying to poop, pushed so hard that he squeezed out his rectum.

Whatd you do? Trey asked, because Treys curiosity obviously outweighs his good sense.

I just took a sanitary sponge and pushed it back up inside there.

Trey nodded while I choked back my own vomit. As much as I like Carey, Ill always hate her a little bit for telling me that story, just as youll always hate me a little for telling you.

I think about that story a lot. I never want to shit out my own asshole. I dont. The thought of living to that age makes me want to go out and buy two cases of whiskey and ten cartons of unfiltered Lucky Strikes, and imbibe all of it while Im racing down a twisty mountain road.

Ive been trying for the past few days to get something written thats worth posting. But every time I write, I have to force it, and it makes me think of that story.

Because Im pushing so hard that what comes out is worse than shit.


posted 8/22/07


Comments:
Entered By Carey From Unknown
2007-08-25 05:46:51

Actually, the story is incorrect Ray. It was regarding a uterus and a woman. I believe it was a prolapsed uterus that I pushed back in with a sterile gauze soaked in sterile saline :)


Entered By Ray From Austin
2007-08-25 17:48:47

I could have sworn it was an old guy and a rectum. Obviously, I know entirely too many people that have pushed old people parts back up inside of old people.



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