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He Said, She Said, I Said by Ray Printer Friendly

I go, “I missed a call.”

She goes, “Who from?”

I go, “Wasn’t it supposed to rain tonight?”

I pick up the phone, I push the buttons. I go, “Oh.”

She goes, “Who?”

I go, “I need to call him back.”

She goes, “I thought your joints were acting up.”

I go, “Yeah. Feels like rain.” I go, “I’m not old enough to feel weather in my bones.”

She goes, “I thought you were going to bed early tonight.”

I go, “Yeah.”


I go, “He’s my best friend.”

She goes, “Don’t drink too much.”

More silence.

She goes, “Tell him I said hi.”

I go, “I love you.”

She goes, “I love you, too.” She goes, “I hope he’s all right.”

Thunder rumbles in the distance, so stupid and fake, like it’s in a movie.

She goes, “Be sure to tell him I said hi.”

I go, “I will.”

But I know that I’ll forget.

She gives me a kiss and she goes…to bed.

He goes, “What’s up?”

I go, “Not much.” I go, “With you?”

He goes, “This sucks.”

I go, “What happened?”

He goes, “She came over. Just showed up.”

The “she,” that’s the heartbreaker, the one who got away. The she-devil who walked out four months ago without any sort of warning. There one day, gone the next. A note that goes, “This isn’t working out.”

I go, “How’d that go?”

He goes, “She goes, ‘I’m pregnant.’”

I go, “Oh, shit.”

He goes, “Yeah. I go, ‘How far along are you?’ She goes, ‘Five months.’”

I go, “Oh, shit.”

He goes, “Yeah. I go, ‘You sure?’ She goes, ‘Yeah.’ I go, ‘We haven’t had sex in six and a half months.’”

I go, “Oh, shit.”

He goes, “Yeah.” He goes, “She goes, ‘Oh.’ She goes, ‘It’s nice seeing you again.’ I go, ‘I’ll see you later.’”

I go, “You okay?”

He goes, “It killed me to see her again. I thought I was over her, but as soon as I saw her, it all came back. And she broke my heart all over again.”

I go, “Sorry.”

He goes, “Me, too.” He goes, “I thought it was supposed to rain.”

I go, “I don’t know.”

He goes, “It really should be raining. What’s that called?”

I go, “I don’t know.”

He goes, “Where it rains in the story? The guy’s all sad, and it rains?”

I go, “Pathetic fallacy?”

He goes, “How appropriate.”

I go, “It’ll get better.”

He goes, “It better.”

She goes, “What time is it?”

I go, “You’re so beautiful.”

She goes, “That late, huh?”

She laughs a sleepy little laugh, and I laugh a liquor-and-toothpaste-scented laugh.

I go, “It’s three.”

She goes, “He was in bad shape. Why?”

I go, “She showed up and told him she was pregnant.” I go, “She wanted it to be his, but the timing was off.”

She goes, “Awful.”

I go, “Yeah.”

She goes, “Is it raining?”

I go, “No.”

She goes, “It was supposed to rain.”

I go, “So I hear.”

She goes, “I love you.”

I go, “I love you, too.”

She goes, “Goodnight.”

posted 4/26/07


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