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Revision Of A Fat Man by Ray Printer Friendly

All right, so I guess it’s time for me to drop some cash on this Portly Boy book thing. I’ve been saving up to buy an ISBN, completely unsure if I was really going to do it. I mean, I dig Portly Boy, but it seems like investing something other than time and booze into it might be a pretty terrible idea. Heck, even investing time seems like a pretty terrible idea, some days.

In case you’re wondering what good an ISBN is, it’s that number on the back of a book—that part that lets real retailers carry your book. I don’t operate under the false illusion that I’m going to get myself an ISBN and book stores across the world are going to immediately begin stocking my book, but this will at least make it to where it can be sold on Amazon and places like that.

You might be saying to yourself, Yes, but what good is all that? You’re still just talking about an overly-long book about a fat guy in tights. To that, I reply: Shut up.

You’ve got a valid point, of course, and to be honest with you, there’s really no actual need in me having an ISBN for Portly Boy. I just kinda want one, is all. The more I think about it, the more ridiculous the idea seems, which is why I try to focus on other things, such as where did I put my cell phone and why does my ass look so funny. Also, I focus on making a new cover for my book.

See, when you get an ISBN, you have to make space for the barcode. What that means is, I had to redo the back of my book. I also decided to change the front. Upon first showing the front cover to Trey, he said something along the lines of, “Yeah, it looks cool, but it doesn’t give any kind of a clue about what it’s about.”

We were discussing the idea of trying to get local comic book stores to carry Portly Boy, and he was pointing out that nobody’s gonna drop cold, hard, comic book cash on a book with no art unless they’ve got a pretty good idea about what’s going on inside. Ideally, I would put a synopsis on the back and call it good. The thing is, I don’t have anything remotely professional like Photoshop, and the weird little generic program I use to manipulate pictures has a real problem with the cut/paste function. You try to paste, and it changes to some random font and size, and then overwrites your file. Not good.

My point being, I would have to type everything in, and then go back through and manually insert a “return line” at the end of each line (as opposed to being able to set any kind of margins). I don’t trust myself enough to do that without making at least three mistakes and making everything look like shit.

So what we talked about was using the front cover to try to convey the idea the book. I know it seems like it would be an easy task to convey the idea of a fat man in tights, but I had kind of a hard time with it. I spent today working on stuff, and I’ve narrowed it down to a few different proofs.

This is where you come in, Strangelanders. I would really appreciate a little feedback on this. You can either drop it in the comments section or send an email to ray at thestrangelands.com (use the @ sign, of course). You don’t have to say anything clever if you don’t feel up to the task—just tell me which covers you like (ex: I like front cover C and back cover A).

I don’t want to pressure you or anything, but I figure that with super-intelligent readers like you, I would be a fool not to try to take advantage of your input (sorry about my lame ass-kissing—I used to be really good at it, but it’s been a while since I worked retail).

Anyway, here are the contestants:

Front Cover A

Front Cover B

Front Cover C

Back Cover A

Back Cover B

Back Cover C

Or you can always check out what I have at the moment. Or you don’t have to do anything. I don’t why you come to this place, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t so that you can be put to work.

And sadly, kids, the above is what I’m counting as my post.

‘Night, Li’l Homies.

posted 4/9/07

Entered By Anonymous From Unknown
2007-04-12 00:56:16

Front cover b, back cover b. I kinda like front cover c.

Entered By rik From Unknown
2007-04-18 20:52:28

Front cover a or c. Back cover C. But I really think you should always try to incorporate a dead deer smoking a cigarette whenever possible. Maybe you should get a live model to pose for Portly Boy.

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